Learn to Live again
by Shotshotshot
Summary: After a horrible accident Greg struggles to cope with the extent of his injuries. Will he ever be able to live a normal life again?
1. Chapter 1

Big brown eyes were staring at her. They were distant and only half open.

There was a tube in his throat which provided oxygen for him. His left eye was swollen shut.

Greg looked like a mess.

Sara could just stare at him and repeat in her head what the doctors had told them.

It was like a bad dream. The horrible accident had almost ended Greggo's life and now he was lying in this freakin' hospital bed, blinking at her like a vegetable.

And what was the worst? - Right he would probably stay like this. The brain damage caused by the impact between Greg's head and the asphalt after the van had hit him was severe.

They had to cut open the skull to stop the bleeding in his brain. The surgery had taken an awful long time. During the seven hours they had to revive him twice and even now, 10 days after the procedure, he was still critical.

Sara looked up when she heard someone enter the room. It was Nick. "Hey, Greggo." The Texan said softly. He sat down in a chair next to Sara's. "Anything new?"

Sara sighed sadly: "Not really. As you can see, he is still not able to breathe on his own which is a bad thing, Dr. Swanson said. The swelling of the brain went down a little more but he's still nearly unresponsive. Now, they're afraid that he won't improve at all. This is all so terrible. His mother left half an hour ago and she was a mess. I had to practically carry her out of the hospital. She hasn't slept for like three days."

Nick looked unpleased. "I still can't believe it. And I still can't believe I said that sentence for the thousandth time." That brought a small smile to Sara's lips. But she soon grew serious again, when Greg started to shift in bed, his face showing clear signs of pain. He let out an inhuman sound due to the breathing tube. " Shhh, just try to sleep some more." Sara tried to soothe her friend not really sure if he was able to understand her.

She carefully tried to wipe away the sweat on his forehead. Greg's whole head had been shaved for the brainsurgery and the hair was already slowly starting to grow back. However most of his head was wrapped up in a bandage.

They had put a brace around his neck to stop him from moving too much and to help healing a small spine injury.

Several IVs were providing the young man with morphine, light sedatives and fluid.

Another tube ran into his penis to collect urine. Greg had had an infection due to the catheter for 2 days and now they were thinking about putting him in diapers, - A horrible thing, Sara thought.

She couldn't see Greg as the mentally retarded infant that he was now. He really needed to get better. She could't deal with her 36 year old best friend in diapers and as helpless as a newborn baby.

Meanwhile Greg tried hard to focus his eyes on something but he was failing miserably. The pain in his head was unbearable and he grunted weakly. Sara's and Nick's presence was comforting but he honestly felt like shit. He could neither speak nor concentrate on anything. He just felt the pounding in his head, the itching caused by the IV, the soreness in his throat and the burning in his spine.

Would he ever get better? What the fuck happened to him!? Somehow his breathing got worse by the minute.

The tube caused him to retch and gag in panic, his eyes were still unfocusedly scanning the room and Greg thought he would die now.

Fortunately Nick immediately saw that something was wrong and he hit the alarm button next to Greg's bed.

Sara was panicking too and unsuccessfully started to calm Greg down by stroking him and mumbling gentle words.

The heart monitor suddenly started to beep loudly and in less than a minute Sara and Nick were forced out of the room by hospital stuff.


	2. Chapter 2

It was evening again and Sara and Nick had to leave the hospital to start their shift.

Fortunately Greg's retching and gagging was just a sign that he did not need the breathing tube anymore. The apparatus had been removed expertly with two nurses holding Greg down and a doctor removing the tube out of his throat. Now a nasal cannula ensured that Greg was provided with enough oxygen.

The doctors had needed to sedate Greg due to him panicking during the taking out of the breathing tube, so he had been asleep for the last hours and until Nick and Sara had to go.

In the following days Greg's mental health improved a lot. He was a lot more coherent and he seemed to be aware of his surroundings. Tough he was still as helpless as a baby and only able to stay awake for 10 to 15 minutes because of the strong medication they were pumping into him, the doctors were speaking positively about his recovery which was a really good sign.

After all there had only been a very small chance that Greg would survive at all and now he was out of immediate life danger. Of course, Greg was badly hurt and there would definitely be permanent problems but for now everyone was just so grateful about him being alive that they paid no attention to this fact.

Greg was now hospitalized for 15 days and the swelling of his brain was nearly gone. The doctors would start more tests in the next week and test his abilities in speech, coordination and memory. They would also reduce the medication and Sara overheard them talking about moving Greggo to a normal room, he would share with another patient. Anne Hojem Sanders, Greg's mother, had been relieved to no end.

Greg was slowly waking up. He was confused and his world was spinning. It was still unclear to him what happened. When he desperately tried to remember, his head started to ache terribly so he refused to bother his pained brain any longer. He weakly closed his eyes again and took a deep breath.

His room was dimly lit and the loud peeping of several monitors started getting on his nerves. Greg moaned out loudly. He felt so helpless. There was something around his neck which prevented him from turning his head and all the wires and tubes that went inside him were like a cobweb. When he tried to focus on his hands he noticed 3 tubes going inside his upper right one. His left arm was bandaged up. There was also something wrapped around his aching head. Of that he was sure.

Greg let out another moan. He really needed something to drink. His throat seemed as if he had enjoyed a bottle of acid. It really was on fire.

Fortunately two people were entering the room now. When they saw that he was awake they smiled and said something to each other. Greg tried to follow the conversation but somehow he could not concentrate on the content. Then one person left the room again and closed the door quietly. Greg noticed that the wall, were the door was, had a huge window to the corridor. He noticed bleary figures that were passing by and winced at the loud noises of the nurses who did the breakfast service today.

Suddenly a light was shown in his eyes. "Whhattggggrggmm gr gr" Greg stopped in shock. Why wasn't he able to speak anymore?! Were these scary sounds coming out of his mouth?! His breathing grew erratic and he stared at the doctor: " ggh nnsh mnhapp…me…-"Tears started to pool down Greg's cheeks. What the fuck was wrong with him!?

"Mr. Sanders, I need you to calm down. Please blink twice if you understand me, okay?"

Greg was still panting and tried to process what the woman just said. Blink? How should he blink? What was blinking? And how often again!?

"Mmmh mm!" -"No Mr. Sanders, I want you to concentrate. Please blink with your eyes twice if you can understand what I tell you!" The words of the doctor were calm and gentle but to Greg they were confusing and without sense. The door opened again and the nurse returned. She had brought a kit with her and was followed by two other doctors and a second nurse.

"Hey Judy!" The people entered the room. It was time for the ward round and they were happy to finally have Greg awake for that procedure now. They would do another examination and tests with the young man.

Meanwhile, Greg was totally overstrained with the whole situation. Never ever in his life had he felt like that? He really needed his parents right now. Greg sniffed and then tried to focus his blurred vision on the group that had assembled around his bed.

"Mr. Sanders, there is no need to be scared. We just want to help you to get better." The blonde doctor who had try to get him to blink spoke to him in a soothing way and somehow Greg felt more at ease. "I'm Dr. Swanson and We just need to check out some stuff, okay?"

The way she did talk to him was probably more the way you would talk to a child but to Greg it was perfect. He finally was able to comprehend some of the words, even if he had problems to relate them to the meanings.

"I think he is a lot more coherent than the last time." Dr. Swanson said to one of her colleagues.

"Well, the most damage was done to his coodinationsystem in the brain," an elderly man with a beard said. " He should start with speech therapies right away and you should schedule him up for physiotherapies today as well, Nora. Another point is the testing of his mental status."

" Yeah, he is gonna be tested at 11 a.m. "

The doctors talked about the detailed functions of Greg's brain and talked to him a little more.

Dr. Swanson pulled away the covers and they went through each injury, medication and tube again. Greg himself was totally out of it. When one of the nurses lifted his feet and started to prick his toes to check his nerves, Greg just stared at her like a vegetable and moaned softly. He didn't like that. Couldn't they just left him and let him sleep? He wanted his blanket back! "….Okay, so then we just need to change that and lower this dose of morphine. Also we need to change his position in bed and maybe one of you could try to get him to eat a little on his own again. Allright!"

Finally the nurses were left with their patient to renew the bandages and change his IVs and.

Greg grew horribly embarrassed when one of them pushed his hospital gown up and checked the urinary catheter in his penis. "Okay that's still a little red from the infection. Ana could you hand me the cream please."

Then she started to gently put some antibiotic cream on the red skin. Greg just closed his eyes. He wished the earth would swallow him up. When they eventually started to change his head bandage Greg growled out in pain. He started to shake like leave and sweat was collecting on his forehead.

"Shhh, Ana will go and get you some yoghurt and once you have something solid in your belly again, you'll feel better." The motherly tone again calmed him down. Had she talked about yoghurt?

The nurses carefully brought Greg into a sitting position and while one of them fluffed Greg's pillow, the one named Ana went to get his breakfast.

When the door opened again Greg didn't even look up. "Greg!" his mother Anne practically ran into the room, She was closely followed by his dad Carl.

It was all too much for Greg now. When his mother bent down to carefully hug him, ecstatic about him being nearly coherent, he completely broke down. Loud sobs escaped Greg and desperate tears were pooling endlessly when he clung onto his mother for dear life. Carl sat on the other side and gently stroke his son's upper back.

"Shhh, we'll pull trough this together! It'll be okay, We're there for you!"


	3. Chapter 3

_15 days ago…_

„_Hey Mr. Grumpy!" Nick grinned at a moody Greg who gave him an icy glare. "Man, really, It's not my fault it's you again with the double shift next week. But still.. I did not really put a lot of effort in trying to convince D.B. he should take me instead of you… Nick laughed out and grinned again. "Oh come on Greg, don't hate me." Nick had not noticed that Greg was trying to suppress his own smile. "You are such an asshole Nick!" _

_He turned around and stormed off, all the while grinning and leaving a stunned and shocked Nick in the locker room. " Greg, I didn't mean it, really, It's just that , hey wait…" Nick spun his younger colleague around who tried to look wrathful but ended up laughing his ass off. "Got you! And the next time it's definitely you with the shitty overtime!"_

_Nick and Greg joked around for another 5 minutes and then Greg met Morgan on his way out to the next Crime scene while Nick stayed in the lab to work on the evidence of his case._

_When Morgan and Greg arrived in Henderson the sun was still shining and burned down onto the two CSIs. Morgan stared onto the scene in disgust. A heavily decomposed torso was lying next to the highway. The smell was awful. Greg pinched his nose and sighed. His day couldn't get any worse._

"_Hey guys!" Russel was kneeling next to the doc who examined the body. "Morgan, If you could help me here? Greg, you can search the highway for any other traces."_

_Greg just sighed and got ready; He took his kit and camera and started to wander down the street, all the while paying attention to possible hints. The procedure was standard, it was obvious, that the body had obviously been thrown out of a car, but you never know for sure until you examined the whole scene._

_The part of the highway, where the body was found was closed by a patrol car. Only the left side of the road was trafficable._

_Greg stopped to take a photo of a skid mark. He wiped a trail of sweat that had collected on his forehead away. It was still so hot. Greg would for sure get sunburned today. He would look like a total fool this evening at Nick's club tour on the strip. Well at least ´he had tomorrow off. Greg smiled and concentrated on the asphalt again._

_He was so focused on the street that he didn't notice the white van speeding through the street barrier ways too fast. Sat inside were three teenage girls who had a blast before and obviously decided it would be a good decision to hit the streets to Vegas totally drunk._

_The officer at the barrier began to shout angrily. When Greg looked up, alarmed by the yelling, the van was driving in sinuous lines towards him. He didn't have that much time to react. Greg tried to draw aside to the right but the teenage girl had lost control over her parents' van and also went in the direction. When the car finally collided with Greg's body there was a loud thud which was nearly drowned in the noise of screams._

_Greg slammed into the windshield, was thrown across the vehicles roof and then landed headfirst on the asphalt of the street. Greg felt immediately unconscious._

_The Van got finally stopped by some bushes next to the highway._

_There was a moment of stunned silence when everyone tried to process what just happened. Russel reacted first."Greeeg." He made it to the young CSI first, closely followed by Morgan who wore a shocked expression on her face. _

_Greg was lying on his side, his eyes were closed and blood was fast seeping out of a huge head wound. "We need the paramedics over here fast!" Russel yelled to a police officer, who was staring at him dumbly while his colleagues where working on the van. He dropped down next to Greg and felt for a pulse. Thankfully he found a weak one. Morgen had started to sob and was gently stroking Greg's hair, carefully avoiding his injuries._

_Doc Robbins had made it to the scene of the accident by now. He kneeled next to Greg's head and pushed open one of his eyelids. He stared alarmed at the bloody orbs "That doesn't look too good. He needs to be taken cared of very soon. Do they send a chopper?"_

"_Don't know." Russel had taken of his vest, and laid it over Greg. "Hey Sanders, I need you to wake up. No time to sleep yet!" The desperate look in Russels eyes was evident._

_In the meantime, Greg was slowly coming back to consciousness: Everything hurt but mostly his head and neck .When he tried to move some a hot white pain exploded behind his eyes and he whimpered. He heart someone call his name, was that Morgan? Greg tried to open his eyes but somehow he could only see blurry forms. His legs were numb and he was sure he had peed himself. At least he felt wet in the groin area. Greg felt someone grasp his hand and squeeze it tightly. He tried to squeeze back but somehow only managed moving his thumb. " Shh, Greg, Everything is okay. Help is on the way. Just stay with us!" Morgan was panicking. The situation was very serious. _

_While she continued stroking Greg's head, they suddenly heart screaming coming from the direction of the van. A girl, evidently the driver, was slurring: "Oooh, myyyy good. Let me see for myseeeeelf. I din… I just…..I'm soo sooo soorrry…" Morgan grew furious but then decided that right now Greg needed her more, so she stayed by his side instead of giving in and slapping that stupid bitch right in the face._

_Russel sighed relieved when he heard the chopper arrive, getting ready to go down. Surprisingly Greg was still holding on Consciousness. The asphalt around his head had turned a sick tone of crimson red, even if Doc Robbins was applying pressure on the severe wound. _

_Soon the medics were crowding Greg._

"_What's his name?"A female paramedic asked while rummaging through her well organized med-kit. _

"_It's Greg Sanders; he has been semiconscious for the last 5 minutes. We couldn't stop the blood loss to his head wound." Doc Robins said calmly. _

"_Mr. Sanders? Greg? Can you hear me?" a male medic asked the hurt CSI. Another ambulance man hooked Greg onto an IV. "Seems like we have a severe head trauma, pupils are dilated and eyes bloody. We need to bring him to the hospital as soon as possible!"_

_They gently and carefully moved Greg on his back and neck braced him. An oxygen mask was put over his mouth and nose. Greg himself seemed unaware of what happened, even if his eyes were half open. _

_It pained Morgan a lot to see her coworker like this. It was just so unreal. She could tell Russel was feeling the same. He stood next to her, watching the medics work on his CSI, wearing a grim expression._

_One medic cut away Greg's shirt and he was carefully maneuvered out of his vest. Morgan needed to swallow when she saw the bruises on his chest, which were already turning blue._

"_One two three up", with expertly moves, Greg was put onto a stretcher. "Mmmh" The whimper sounded frightened and hurt but was muffled from the oxygen mask._

_Greg felt straps tightened around his legs and torso. He couldn't move his head due to the neck brace. It was cold suddenly and Greg felt his vision become slightly grey. His fear grew: What was happening? Was he dying?_

_It was the last thought before he was pulled under by unconsciousness. _

"_Who wants to ride with him?" a medic asked. "Can I..?" Russel just nodded. Morgan climbed into the chopper next to Greg. Somehow she never had good experiences with being airlifted. _

_When the chopper took off, Russel watched the sky for a short minute before turning around and going to the police officers. He saw Jim Brass running towards him. The news evidently had spread soon. _

_Meanwhile Sara and Nick were chilling in the breakroom, not knowing that one of their best friends was fighting for his life right now. "Hey, Sara, you wanna join me and Greg hitting the clubs tonight?"_

"_No, no," Sara whined. "Remember I don't have tomorrow off. With Finn being on holidays Russel made me work a 6-day week." "Awwww, poor Sara…" Nick teased and went to the fridge to grab a bagel he had stowed in there._

"_Everyone is pretty hectic outside, I wonder what happened" Sara stretched out on the sofa. "Don't know, maybe Ecklie is throwing a party?" Nick joked. "Well, that was lame Nick. Even for you."  
"Hey guys," Hodges had entered the room. "I don't wanna disturb you but it seems there happened something on Russel's crime scene?!" "What? Seriously? What are you talking about?" Sara looked at him questioningly. "Don't know, they said something about an accident on police radio?! I was wondering if maybe you guys would know something? I already tried calling Russel and Sanders, but no one was answering me.."_

"_Did you try Morgan?" "Yes phone is dead." "Crap, do you think there happened something serious? I'll try calling Russel again." Sara put out her phone and dialed for her supervisor. Surprisingly he answered his cell immediately. "Yeah?" Sara could already tell something was wrong by the way Russel was sounding. "D.B.? It's Sara. Is everything alright with you guys? Hodges heard something about an accident?!" "Ahm, yeah, well there was an accident." "Sara grew afraid. "Well, Greg was hit by a car. He's being airlifted to Desert Palms right now. Morgan is with him." "Oh my god. How is he?"_

_Nick and Hodges were staring at her impatiently. " Yeah, well I try to contact Morgan and we'll see if we can head out there, too. Are you gonna go to Desert Palms as well?" Sara's voice was shaking._

_Nick and Hodges grew anxious. Evidently something bad was going on. When Sara ended the phone call with a soft "See ya", Nick blurtet: " What?" Sara sighed sadly. " We need to grab our stuff and drive to Desert Palms. Greg was involved in an accident. It looks bad." "Oh.." Nick brought out shocked and Hodges just gaped like a fish. Then they got ready to drive to their injured friend._

When he woke up 15 days later Greg wouldn't remember the accident itself. The fracture of his skull and the severe trauma had resulted in a brain bleeding. It was the worst of his injuries. Moreover he had to fight with a spine injury, that would eventually result in him needing a wheelchair, his arm was broken in two places and he had severe contusions on his whole body.

Right now Greg was sleeping soundly in his hospital bed. They had finally transferred him into a normal room this morning and next week he would go to rehab. His mother sat beside him and absently stroked her son's face. It stabbed her heart to see her baby like this. She really wanted to be optimistic, but the doctors made it very clear to her, that Greg would probably never be able to live on his own again. It was so frustrating to see him suffer. When Greg stirred and slowly opened his eyes she faked a smile. "Hey Greggy. " He blinked dumbly. "Honey, you need to eat something. What do you think about yoghurt?" While Greg was still trying to process what his mother had said to him, Anne Sanders put a spoon full of strawberry flavored yogurt to Greg's mouth and started to feed him. Greg wasn't able to do it on his own. With one arm broken, the other one full of IV tubes and all the coordination problems of his brain Greg was still pretty immobile and helpless.

While she was feeding Greg, Anne thought about the last time she had to spoon-feed her babyboy. Greg had been three then. She sighed. A lot of things were going to change…


	4. Chapter 4

Greg was lying in his room all alone. His parents had been fussing over him the whole morning and then he had spent the afternoon with Morgan, Hodges and Nick. Sara would come by tomorrow.

He really appreciated the sympathy of his friends. Now that he was on less morphine he could finally stay awake longer and actually spend the time with his coworkers in an alert state. Of course they did most of the talking but Greg enjoyed listening to them.

Now that the visiting hours were over it was quieter on his floor. His roommate was still somewhere outside. He was probably smoking. Greg snorted. Paul Daughterly was 52 years old and as mature as a teenager. The cancer patient was getting on the young CSI's nerves a lot. No, that was not it: Greg really went aggressive when he heart Paul laughing about his cigarette consumption, despite his lung cancer. It was something Greg could not understand.

He would give everything to get his health back and this stupid idiot would just sit there and smoke himself to death. He just heard the jerk coming down the floor singing some stupid country song.

Greg already had a headache and his back hurt, he definitely could not deal with Paul right now.

"Hey, Gregory! What's up, man? How was your day?" Paul stopped at the foot of Greg's bed. He always treated Greg like a little boy and Greg totally hated it. It was not like the calm and simple talking the doctors and nurses were using on him. No, Paul was sneering and arrogant. Oh, how he hated that man! "Fff…ff…fan…ttt..aaaassssti…cccc." Greg brought out. Then he shifted in his bed.

He had gotten rid of the neck brace and only one tube had remained in his hand which provided him with a lighter pain medication.

What bothered Greg were the diapers he had to wear since yesterday. The doctors had explained to him that it was unhealthy for him to be catheterized for such a long time and that now there was no need to monitor his urine levels anymore. They told him some other stuff, which Greg did not comprehend completely and now he just had to wear them. It was horrible. Greg had cried himself to sleep yesterday due to that. Fortunately all the visits by family and friends didn't leave much time for self-pity but right now Greg again felt a burning sensation behind his eyes.

"Hey kiddo: You had dinner already? Maaan, I'm hungry, I'm going to die because of it!" Greg just ignored him and sighed. He was only allowed to eat soft food and soups. They all tasted the same.

He looked up when a nurse entered the room with the food cart. "Mr. Daughterly, Mr. Sanders: It's time for your dinner. Well, let me see… You ordered the macaroni and cheese, Mr. Daughterly and for you it's a chicken soup Mr. Sanders. Maybe you can have some soft toast as well. A trainee will help you to eat it soon." The nurse provided everyone with their meals and left.

While Paul already started to eat his noodles soundly Greg stared at the soup in disgust. How should he gain weight if that was what they chose for him to eat? "Hey, remember me? It's Pam again." A thin girl around 18 years in hospital scrubs greeted Greg. She was the trainee who would feed him. Greg could hear Paul snicker and check the poor girl out. He rolled his eyes. This guy was a walking joke. Pam helped Greg to sit up and started to smalltalk. She explained that she also found the food horrible and told Greg about her family that owned a farm in Henderson. They laughed a lot and Greg visibly relaxed. Soon the soup bowl was empty and Pam wiped Greg's chin nonchalantly. "See you, Greg. Have a good night." "Se..eeee y..yy…y…yyoouu." Greg smiled and cuddled himself into his pillow.

Somehow Pam had helped the headache to lessen and soon Greg drifted into a nice and restful sleep.

"Goooood Morning Mr. Sanders. It's time to wake up!" A penetrating voice which belonged to nurse Ana awoke Greg in the morning. Groggily he opened his eyes only to close them again when he was blinded by the sunlight that fell into the room.

A male nurse named Bill opened the window while Ana went to check the high blood pressure of Paul Daughterly. Greg just tried to disappear under his blanket and pushed his face into the pillow. He was still so tired. He always thought that a hospital was a place to rest but evidently he was wrong.

Bill laughed and went over to Greg's bed. "I'm sorry but you need to wake up. But I have good news for you. The doctors are talking about discharging you in two days and then you could directly go to rehab. How does that sound, Mr. Sanders?" Greg finally opened his eyes and smiles at the male nurse. These were great news. After all he had been in the hospital ways too long. "Rr..rrreaal..yyy?" "Yes, well you'll have to wait for the doctors' examination but they were definitely talking about it."

Bill checked Greg's IV and changed the bag. Then he pulled the curtains close around Greg's bed. Ana joined Bill and they pushed back the blanket. While Bill paid attention to Greg's bloodpressure, Ana opened the diaper and put it in the garbage. She then got a washrag and started to wash Greg's intimate parts. "Could you hand me the fresh diaper Bill?" she asked. "Yeah sure, is everything all right?"- He answered. "You need help?" " Mhh, he has a slight rash. We should mention it. Maybe he needs medication." Bill nodded and helped Ana put Greg into the new thick diaper. After making sure it was tight enough and would not leak Greg was provided with an injection against thrombosis.

Although the nurses worked casual and they probably did that everyday Greg still was as red as a tomato. He knew that he shouldn't work himself up that much but he still found it absolutely embarrassing to wear a diaper.

Ana pushed his hospital gown down over the diaper and then tucked the blanket around him. "No need to stress yourself, Mr. Sanders. You did nothing wrong." She controlled his temperature and eye-reaction and then in a matter of seconds both nurses were gone.

Greg stretched out and yawned. Now he was hungry. Maybe Pam would be there again to bring him his breakfast. He rubbed his eye carefully.

The young man wasn't paralyzed completely: Greg could still feel all of his limbs and was also able to move them. But due to the brain damage his moves were uncontrolled and sluggish. The spine injury had a permanent numbing effect on his bladder, gut and legs- The numbness wasn't too severe, but combined with his coordination problems it was unlikely he would be able to walk completely on his own again. And it was still a long way to go.

In the rehab they would start with easy stuff like sitting up on your own in bed.

Greg tried to roll himself on his side. His back hurt from lying in the same position for hours. He also felt the need to get some fresh air. Maybe Sara would take him outside for a while when she visited.

Greg had only been outside of the bed for several examinations. Also one time they had maneuvered him into a wheelchair and his parents had taken him to the cafeteria. It had completely worn him out but all in all that had been his most exiting day so far.

He could already hear the nurses with the breakfast cart outside.

"Hey, Greggo." Sara stood in the door and smiled at him warmly. "Sss.. ..aa" Greg stuttered happily. "SSs'ggg….ooood to sseee you!" Sara walked to his side and sat down in a chair."You look good Greg, there's a lot more color in your face than the last time." "Dddoon't lieee tt.. .too mee." Greg smiled. "Youu c…c…ooming sstr straight ffrrrom w..www..work?" " Jep, we had a wonderful dumpster diving case. I persuaded Hodges that he was the right man to do it."

They chatted for quiete a while and Sara helped Greg eat his breakfast and lunch. She stayed until 2 p.m. and by then Greg was totally exhausted.

All the talking had worn him totally out and he needed to fight hard to stay awake. He also felt very warm suddenly and started to sweat. Something seemed wrong.

With his last strength Greg hit the red alarm button that was right beside him and waited for a nurse.

Soon a grumpy looking blonde woman made her way in the room. When she saw Greg her demeanor totally changed. She gently put a hand on his forehead and asked him some simple questions about what was wrong. Then she rang for a doctor.

Evidently Greg had developed a fever in the morning which was no good sign. Dr. Swanson made sure that he was monitored closely and gave him medication against the headache.

They would also feed Greg with icechips and informed his parents of the change.

It was frustrating for everyone: After getting a little better, now Greg's health had took a turn for the worse again.

And soon no one was talking about the early discharge anymore…


	5. Chapter 5

Greg squinted his eyes shut, when the sun fell on his face. It was a nice sunny day, although the temperature wasn't very high. After 2 weeks of rain the park of the rehab center was crowded.

Greg was sitting in a wheelchair which was pushed by his father. He had been here for 4 days and already improved a lot.

Speaking was an easier thing for him now and he could better understand his surroundings.

For the moment his mother Anne Hojem Sanders was his legal guardian but she would most likely remain it for some time. The chance that Greg's mental capacity would improve was very small and not realistic. There would be another surgery in the next months but the doctors weren't too optimistic. But after all the brain was a mysterious organ and you never know.

When Carl noticed his son starting to shiver lightly in the chair, he stopped and waited for his wife to tuck the blanket tighter around Greg's thin body.

The young CSI had lost a lot of weight during his hospital stay and now they were trying to get some kilos on him again. However the medical staff made sure that he would remain slender so the nurture and care would be easier for all participants.

"Are you cold honey?" Anne asked her son. "A lii..ttle." Greg slurred. His speech still wasn't at an optimum but his parents were thrilled that he could at least communicate again and wouldn't stare at them like a vegetable like he had done a week before.

Greg was wearing a navy-blue hoodie and grey sweatpants. His feet were clad in knitted socks by Nana Olaf and some slippers his mum had bought for the rehab.

To his anger he had to wear a diaper and still got the IV Port in his hand though there was no tube in it at the moment. His hair had grown back and now nearly hid the huge scar on his former bald head.

The wheelchair was a modern one and was adjusted on the needs a patient like Greg would acquire.

It had a cushioned head-rest and the backrest could be regulated, so that Greg was slightly bent backwards. To make sure, that he couldn't harm himself the young male was strapped in with an elastic belt which went cross style over his chest. Between Greg's legs was a padded blockade that ensured that he couldn't slide out of the chair. His feet stood on a footrest.

Greg didn't like being in the chair. He wasn't completely paralyzed; he still could feel his limbs and was also able to move his legs and arms in limited ways. The main problem was that he couldn't coordinate his movements and was pretty helpless due to that. Trying to hold a bottle of water was nearly enough to wear him completely out. What Greg hated most still was the diaper. It is the most embarrassing thing to have your diapers changed by a nurse about your age. Being washed from someone else on his most intimate parts was absolute hell. Greg didn't think he needed the diapers anyways. The doctors never really gave him a chance to prove that he could control his bladder. For them it was just easier to put an immobile patient in a pampers instead of helping him on the toilet the whole time- so Greg thought.

Right now he felt that he needed to pee badly. As long as he could control it he would not pee while his parents were there. Even if they wouldn't notice- Greg didn't like the thought alone about peeing in company. And now his mom was also fumbling around with the blanket around his groin area. She would for sure notice it!"Jus..t le..le..leave the blan..blanket li..lii..liilike this, mom. S'kay, mom."

"No, Greg I can see you shivering. Carl maybe we should better bring our boy in. I don't want him to be sick in his condition. By the way he has therapy in one hour. Maybe he should rest some before."

Anne got up and gave her husband a meaningful look. Carl sighed and ruffled his son's short hair carefully avoiding the thick scar that ran across his head. He then turned the wheelchair around and the family slowly made their way back to the facility where Greg would stay for the next weeks.

The Desert flower Rehabilitation Center was located in a nice area in the suburbs of Las Vegas and was amongst others specialized on TBI patients. There were quite some younger people who worked on their health issues so Greg wasn't surrounded by grannys.

The Rehab Center was split into 4 buildings. One house featured a special pool and all the therapy rooms. The second building accommodated the station for TBI Patients and their different clinical pictures and in the third house they had a center for people with spine injuries. The last house featured a cafeteria and the dinner room. There were also some quarters for family members.

Greg's parents currently stayed at their sons Apartment in Vegas. It was a weird feeling for them. They also had to think about longtime arrangements. Anne and Carl didn't like the thought about Greg living in a special-care home. It was beyond all questions that Greg would return to a normal single living again.

It nearly broke Anne's heart when she thought about explaining to her son that they would most likely rent his apartment. It almost seemed that Greg sensed it, so he totally avoided the subject of the nearer future. His parents still weren't sure if they would take Greg back to California with them. They knew that Greg would not want that. Of course he still had some childhood friends at home and he had always enjoyed visiting his family on his holidays but this was something completely different.

Greg was living in Las Vegas for over 10 years and the crazy city was his home now. He had all his important friends here and Carl didn't know if it was good to just tear his son out of his loved surroundings. If it was alone Anne's decision she would just take her babyboy and cuddle him to death in their San Gabriel home but after a serious talk with Carl even Anne had accepted that it wasn't that easy.

These were quite stressful and exhausting days for the Sanders.

"Ca…n you g..gg..get mmme so..soomething t..tt..ttoo drink?" Greg asked tiredly. Even if he needed to pee like mad he was still thirsty. "Of course honey. We don't have anything with us right now, but we'll stop at the cafeteria to get you something that you like. Maybe a nice warm tea? "

"Mmmhh." Fuck. Greg needed to concentrate on his painfully full bladder more. Otherwise he felt he would explode right now. Why did he care? He couldn't avoid it forever.

When he was pushed into the cafeteria Greg saw some patients he knew from the water therapy sitting there with families and chatting happily. Most of them had a better diagnosis than him. At least that was how Greg felt. He really had fallen into a depression. He was so unlucky right now. His body and mind were a wreck. He would never be able to be on his own again and he wondered if Russel had already found a new CSI. Sara and Nick hadn't mentioned anything. Well, he hadn't really been able to talk a lot by then, too. When he thought about his career, Greg felt a tear make its way down his cheek. He swallowed; Not again. He was such a crybaby recently. _Stop the self-pity! _–A voice in his head demanded.

"Greg? Do you hear me?" his dad asked concerned. "Yeah, w..wwaaas j.. t...t…hinking."

"Okay, so what can I get you? You still have water in your room, don't you? So what about something a little more special?" His dad smiled. "Sure." Greg grinned, too. "N.. blue ha..haawaiian in here.. .. I st—st..stick wwwith cccoke." Carl already saw the unpleased look on his wife's face. Coke really wasn't the number one drink that Greg should have right now but still… He was an adult after all. Even if Anne was his legal guardian now and after all he had been trough. A coke would not kill him. So he went to pay fast before the disapproving Anne could interfere.

Carl opened the bottle for Greg: " You wanna hold it by yourself, Greg?" Greg looked unsure. He shrugged helplessly. His hands were shaking. So Carl just put the bottle to his son's lips and let him drink some sips. Then he looked at his watch. "Maybe we should bring you to your room now, in case you want to rest some before therapy starts." Greg just nodded. He really was tired. And he was absolutely in no mood to go to the water therapy now. Greg hated it. He always felt so exposed when he was made to move in the basin. On top of that he always felt like he would drown.

After all the feeling of the water wasn't too bad, but he always was with three elder people in there who he found slightly creepy.

Greg let his head fall back into the headrest and closed his eyes. He heart the elevator doors open with a _bling_ and then was pushed inside. At the same time his bladder finally gave in and emptied itself into the diaper. A warm, wet feeling was soon spreading around his groin area. Greg whimpered slightly. _Crap._ Well at least he could relax now after relieving himself. And fortunately the diaper was compact and would not leak.

Greg opened his eyes again, when the elevator doors opened. An old man on crutches left and a middle-aged woman was wheeled in by her teenage daughter. The door closed again and the girl eyed Greg curiously. The young man felt ashamed and quickly looked away.

He heard the girl start talking about some school bitchfight and suddenly needed to grin. Soon the doors opened again and they had finally reached his floor. While Carl pushed Greg into his room, his mom went to get him a nurse who would help get him settled again.

It was the high-maintenance-floor and so there was more nursing staff than on the other corridors.

A couple minutes later Anne returned with a motherly dark haired nurse who was called Mary.

"Hey, there you are again. So I guess you want to rest some minutes before we make you suffer again?" she joked. Greg grinned as well. Mary was his favorite nurse. Somehow she made him feel safe. The dark haired woman opened Greg's security belt and with expertly moves and the help of Greg's dad, the young man was soon lying on his nursing bed. Mary gently removed his slippers.

"Do you need anything else Greg? Otherwise we would get you in 20 minutes and ready you for water training." "Mh, maybe I need … n..nnothing" Greg decided to lie about his diaper accident. He would be changed nevertheless in some minutes and even if he already felt uncomfortable he didn't want to be bothered right now. His mother put a fleece blanket over him and sat next to him, while Nurse Mary left the room. "Dad and I are going to leave for today in the next minutes unless you want us to stay longer? But I heart that some of your friends were planning to come by in the late afternoon as well, if you're up to this." Greg's eyes lit up. "No..oo s'kay. Y..you c..c…coming tttttomorrow?" "Yes sure. Maybe we can go to the park again, then. It is going to be sunny!"

After saying goodbye to his mom and dad Greg fell into a light slumber and was later awoken by nurse Mary, another younger nurse and a student apprentice who came by to get him.

Greg glared at them. Couldn't they just let him sleep?


	6. Chapter 6

"Mhhh, le…mmee!" He whined and tried to pull the blanket over his face.

The student apprentice stared flabbergasted at him. Evidently he didn't have much experience with TBI patients or disabled people in general.

Mary and the younger nurse were very determined and soon, the blanket was gently but adamantly pulled away from Greg's body.

"Noo, ..am co..ld!" Mary smiled. "Greg I already took your temperature today and you are doing perfectly fine. I thought you wanted to get better?" The rhetorical question provoked Greg and he finally gave up. He still wore a pouting expression on his face.

The younger nurse who was actually called Veronica went to grab Greg's bag in which they had stored his supplies for therapy and put a fresh towel inside. Meanwhile Mary showed the intern how to get Greg settled into the wheelchair.

Two minutes later the little group was on their way to the water therapy center. Greg was squirming in his chair when he felt again being watched by some teenage visitors. He still needed to get used to the fact that his appearance had totally changed. People did not see the joking, funny, handsome man in him anymore.

"There we are!" Mary exclaimed. They had pushed Greg into the foyer of the therapy center. Two people were watching the ongoing session through a big glaswindow in the wall.

Mary looked on her watch. "Okay, so we still have couple minutes. And we are plus one guy, so we should be ready soon."

They entered the changing room which was bigger than an average locker-room and had a couch at the wall for immobile patients. There were also some soft padded benches at the opposite wall.

"So Luke, we need to change Greg into swimming clothes and for that we need to get him on the couch first. You did well, when we helped him in the chair some minutes ago, so this should be no prob' for you now." Mary gave the nervous young man an encouraging smile and then left Veronica and Luke in the changing room. "Were did she go?" Luke asked Veronica unsurely. "Oh she just speaks with the therapists about some doctors orders and gives them Greg's chart."

She started to unbuckle Greg and then gave Luke orders to stabilize Greg's body.

Soon the unmotivated young man was sitting on the stretcher with a sour face expression. Veronica zipped down the hoody and then slowly lifted it over Greg's head. It was not easy for him to remain in his seated balance during that procedure but with a supporting hand from Luke he managed. When his chest was bare, he was laid down on his back and Veronica pulled down the sweatpants. She also put her hand on the diaper to check if it was wet. They would never the less have to put Greg into waterproof ones. "Luke please hand me the cleaning kit from over there as he has soiled himself. We need to change him."

While Greg tried to stoically stare to the ceiling he was freed of the wet diaper and then got carefully cleaned. Veronica swaddled him into a waterproof diaper and then they helped him into tight black neoprene swim trunks. Finally Greg was nestled into a fluffy bathrobe and again sitting in his wheelchair.

Luke pushed him to the water basin, where they were greeted by the therapists. "Hey there," A blonde woman named Sandy smiled at Greg's nurses and chatted some with them. Then she kneeled next to Greg: "Hey Greggo. How are you doing today? I don't like that pouty look on your handsome face!" Sandy knew about the extreme moodchanges on TBI patients and put her hand on the young man's knee. She told him with a bright smile, that she knew he would be able to do it and then unbuckled his harness that confined him to the wheelchair. Fred, another therapist went to help her and soon Greg was sitting on a bench in nothing but his diaper and neoprene swimtrunks.

"Uuuhhh…" The water was cold. Greg absolutely hated it. He would for sure get sick. He started to chatter his teeth. Then he looked over to an old woman that was helped inside the water by her therapists. She was really nervous and obviously afraid. Evidently she was a new patient.

Greg had never felt afraid of the water. Being a Californian guy he loved to surf and the beach was practically where he grew up.

Plus he was always securely held by his two therapists.

After 30 min of therapy Greg was totally exhausted. It was nearly too much of an effort to keep his eyes open.

Sandy laughed at Greg when they carried him to the pool edge, where they sat him down. "I'm really proud of you today Greg! You did great. You are moving your muscles so much better then when we started!" Greg smiled at her tiredly.

There was nothing he wished more than returning to his old self.


End file.
